The Best Hotels in Austin: Where to Sleep, Stumble, and Sin Before Seeing Esther’s Follies
Welcome to Austin, Texas, where the tacos are plentiful, the politics are unpredictable, and the hotels range from “I might be sleeping with a ghost” to “I sold a kidney for this room.” Whether you’re visiting to experience live music, find yourself (spoiler: you’re in a bar), or simply recover from your last questionable decision, you’ll need a place to stay. But not just any place—a place worthy of your terrible life choices and your impeccable taste.
And because I’m nothing if not helpful, I’m also here to tell you exactly what you should do after you’ve checked in, freshened up, and come to terms with your questionable financial decisions: get your ass to Esther’s Follies. Why? Because you deserve a night of magic, comedy, and satire so sharp it could cut through Texas politics.
But first, let’s find you a bed to regret your decisions in. Here are the best hotels in Austin, each paired with the perfect reason why you should roll out of your overpriced sheets and into a front-row seat at Esther’s Follies.
1. The Driskill: Where the Rich, the Dead, and the Drunk Collide
Ah, The Driskill. Built in 1886, this Romanesque behemoth is Austin’s premier destination for those who enjoy historic luxury with a side of hauntings. If you like your hotels with chandeliers, marble floors, and the occasional spectral cowboy whispering sweet nothings in your ear at 3 AM, then congratulations—you’ve found your spot.
What’s Special?
- The bar serves cocktails so strong they could make Ted Cruz cry.
- The ghost of a jilted bride supposedly roams the halls, which is basically Austin’s version of Tinder.
- Old-school Texas charm, meaning you’ll feel fancy but also slightly afraid for your life.
Why It’s the Perfect Pre-Game for Esther’s Follies: If you survive a night at The Driskill without being hit on by a ghost, you owe it to yourself to celebrate at Esther’s. After all, nothing pairs better with supernatural terror than political satire.
2. CAMBRIA Downtown Austin: Where Instagram Dreams (and Mistakes) Are Made
For the traveler who enjoys modern luxury but also wants to be steps away from downtown debauchery, CAMBRIA is a dream come true. This hotel has it all—sleek rooms, a rooftop pool, and a location so central you can stumble home after one too many tequila shots on Sixth Street.
What’s Special?
- A rooftop pool so scenic you’ll consider quitting your job and becoming an influencer.
- Walkability to all things Austin, meaning you don’t have to worry about getting an overpriced Uber driven by a guy named Chad who keeps trying to sell you on crypto.
- Rooms so well-designed that you’ll briefly consider revamping your entire personality to match.
Why It’s the Perfect Pre-Game for Esther’s Follies: After a day of lounging by the rooftop pool, pretending you’re not deeply in debt, what better way to keep the illusion going than by watching professional illusionists at Esther’s? And let’s be real—after a few drinks, you’ll start believing you, too, could be a magician.
3. Hotel Indigo: The Artsy, Slightly Chaotic Option
Located near the legendary Red River music district, Hotel Indigo is perfect for the traveler who appreciates creativity, vibrant decor, and a lobby that smells suspiciously of essential oils and ambition.
What’s Special?
- Colorful, quirky design that makes you feel like you’ve stepped into an indie film.
- Live music in the lounge, perfect for nodding along and pretending you totally “get” the lyrics.
- Close enough to the action that you can hear music from your room, whether you like it or not.
Why It’s the Perfect Pre-Game for Esther’s Follies: You just spent all day pretending to be an artsy intellectual. Now it’s time to get roasted by some of the funniest performers in Texas. Esther’s will remind you that no matter how deep your poetry is, it will never be as deep as their cutting satire.
4. Fairmont Austin: The ‘I Might Be Important’ Hotel
For those who believe bigger is better, Fairmont Austin delivers. This towering glass beauty has over 1,000 rooms, meaning there’s a decent chance you’ll check in and never see another human again.
What’s Special?
- A rooftop pool so glamorous you’ll feel obligated to fake a lavish lifestyle for Instagram.
- Spa treatments that will attempt to fix all the bad decisions you’ve made on Sixth Street.
- A clientele that mostly consists of business travelers, influencers, and people who definitely have a trust fund.
Why It’s the Perfect Pre-Game for Esther’s Follies: After a day of pretending to be rich, it’s time to get humbled by comedians who will absolutely call you out for it.
5. The Loren at Lady Bird Lake: The ‘I’m Totally One with Nature’ Hotel
If you’re the kind of person who wears linen pants unironically and insists on referring to hiking as “nature therapy,” The Loren is your kind of hotel.
What’s Special?
- Stunning views of Lady Bird Lake that make you momentarily reconsider your commitment to city life.
- A rooftop restaurant where the portions are tiny but the vibes are immaculate.
- A spa that will attempt to heal the emotional wounds you pretend you don’t have.
Why It’s the Perfect Pre-Game for Esther’s Follies: You’ve been pretending to be a wellness guru all day. Now it’s time to balance that energy with some chaotic, unhinged comedy. Esther’s will provide the perfect dose of reality (and hilarity) that your soul needs.
The Best Hotels in Austin Deserve the Best Entertainment
No matter where you choose to stay, your trip to Austin isn’t complete without experiencing the sheer comedic brilliance that is Esther’s Follies. Whether you’re a first-time visitor or a local looking for a reason to laugh, Esther’s is the kind of place that makes you forget your troubles—until you check your credit card statement in the morning.
So book that overpriced hotel, pretend you’re fancier than you are, and then come see a show that will make you laugh so hard you’ll forget all about your bad financial choices. See you at Esther’s!
