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Texas Is Banning THC. So Come Get High at Esther’s Follies Instead.

  • Writer: Kaitlyn Cole
    Kaitlyn Cole
  • 1 day ago
  • 2 min read

Well folks, grab your CBD gummies, kiss your Delta-8 vape goodbye, and roll up your last legal joint like it’s a goodbye letter to sanity—because Texas is doing what Texas does best: outlawing fun.


Yes, while most of the country is busy building cannabis cafes and making edibles that taste like Michelin-star desserts, the Lone Star State looked at all that progress and said, “Y’all, hold my Bible.”





THC? More like Totally Horrified Citizens


In a stunning flex of “What if Reefer Madness was a policy guide?” Texas lawmakers have decided to ban all consumable hemp products with any detectable amount of THC. Translation? That lavender Delta-9 gummy you use to sleep through your in-laws’ political rants? Illegal. That CBD tincture that keeps your stress down while watching Fox News? Contraband. That artisan hemp seltzer from your friend’s startup that tastes like sadness but gets the job done? You criminal.


Governor Abbott and Lieutenant Governor Dan Patrick have teamed up like the worst buddy cop movie of all time—Highway to Hell: Banning THC and Fun Since 2025—to say no to your mellow and yes to moral panic.

Because nothing says "small government" like regulating what plants you put in your mouth.


You Know What’s Still Legal? Esther’s Follies.


Now, don’t despair, you giggling green goblins. You can still get legally high on Sixth Street—just not the way you think.


At Esther’s Follies, we’ve been melting minds and tweaking reality for over 45 years without a single puff of weed (okay maybe a little in the '80s). Our psychedelic visuals, magician madness, and politically incorrect punchlines are more mind-altering than a 500mg edible on an empty stomach. And bonus: we don’t make you paranoid—unless you’re a politician.


Come see a man sawed in half! Watch a fish talk politics! Marvel as we lampoon Greg Abbott so hard the ghost of Willie Nelson sheds a single tear of joy!


If you can’t ingest THC anymore, the least you can do is inhale a full show of unfiltered absurdity. Laughter’s still legal (for now), and we’ve got enough satire, slapstick, and sequins to make your neurons do the Macarena.






Side Effects May Include:


  • Crying from laughter

  • Questioning authority

  • Full-body euphoria

  • Sudden appreciation for drag magicians

  • Forgetting you ever needed a gummy to feel this damn good


And let’s be real: Esther’s Follies is the only place where the jokes are high, the wigs are higher, and your conservative uncle might accidentally laugh at something gasp progressive. Who needs THC when you’ve got comedy that hits harder than a dab rig?


Let’s Do This Before They Ban Us Too


The Texas government is cracking down on hemp like it’s a gateway drug to empathy. So before they ban satire, sequins, and any form of joy not sanctioned by the state, get your butt to Esther’s Follies.


It’s cheaper than therapy, safer than street gummies, and 100% state-approved (because they haven’t caught on yet).


Get your tickets now, because the only thing we're smoking is the competition.


And Dan Patrick, if you're reading this: we have a front-row seat just for you. Bring a notepad. You're gonna learn something.


Esther’s Follies. Still the highest show in Texas.




 
 
 
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